The Heathen: After I Left

Heathen: a person who does not belong to a widely held religion- as regarded by those who do.

A derogatory term. A familiar one. 

I've previously talked about my experience and process of leaving the LDS church. Slow, as well as relieving. As if an unexplainable weight was lifted off of my back. No longer should I feel ashamed in Sunday School where I knew not who Moses was, or why Joseph Smith need have so many wives. These were things I did not understand like the others did. 

What seemed to be over, was really just the beginning. The beginning of self discovery as well as hope. And while these were all good things to look forward to, I was not so naïve as to forget the stress and judgment to come.

My parents have often said the reason they didn't leave the church earlier is because they feared of what it could mean for my sister and I. They thought that we would constantly be scrutinized by our peers, unaccepted. Social outcasts in the tightly knit religious community. And while that is not completely false, it is not the whole story.

I still have friends. Great ones. Ones that love and accept that of me. I have never been directly bullied about it. Regardless, I've seen my share of insults and disgust. The only one that has stuck with me was a friend of mine casually nick-naming me "heathen" and letting my know I would surely end up in hell fire. Which you'd think wouldn't hurt because I don't believe in a hell. But they did, and they were certain that was what would happen to me. Which pinched a little.

Nonetheless, most people really are amazing. While they do not agree with my beliefs, they generally respect them, and if not that, they just disregard them.

We all find comfort in believing in different things. Whether it's Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Bahá'í Faith, Hinduism, Taoism, Buddhism, Sikhism, Slavic neopaganism, Celtic polytheism, Hellenism, or yes, Atheism, we are all just people searching for meaning in life. Not the meaning of  life. The meaning in it. 

"Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning."

-Joseph Campbell